Punk, Existentialism and Self-Importance

It may not come as a surprise to you that from an early age, I was always the class clown. Among my earliest memories are calls to my parents from teachers and administrators concerning truly abominable incidents such as pretending to smoke a Twizzler like a cigarette, saying that the air around my friend John was "too farty" and claiming that I actually liked the timeout desk better than my own desk. While my great goofs evolved over time, making people laugh and providing breaks from everyday routine became a way of life for me.

It was also around the age of these heinous crimes that I remember receiving my first-ever CD. I was with my Dad at a CD store and as he was checking out, the cashier said I should ask my dad to buy me "Dookie" by Green Day. I did, he did, and whatever "punk" really is found a permanent niche in my life.

No matter how you regard that album today - I, for one, still believe it to be a masterpiece - or how "punk" you consider it, being an eight-year old in the suburbs at a private school with a Boombox and "Dookie" felt extremely badass. I showed it to all of my unamused friends and smiled when they said swear words. It was pretty much the only CD that I listened to for two straight years. I didn't know how to use the internet and for some reason thought that Green Day had broken up, and so when I used to listen to that album, I'd dream about getting all of the band members into a room, playing "Dookie" to remind them how amazing they once were and getting them back together. This was, of course, going to be in addition to my career as the world's first athlete to be an all-star in both the MLB and the NHL. Green Day never actually broke up, and I never even made my high school baseball team. But I digress.

I've been thinking about my roots in punk and class clowning recently as I watched a video in which various artists are asked the simple question of "What is punk?" Brendan Kelly's answer at 1:52 is, for my money, the best there is. I don't claim to be an authority on punk by any means, but I can often be found in mosh pits at punk music festivals and small, dark, hole-in-the-wall bars all the same. I think that I've developed a unique perspective on punk music as someone who has never really looked the part.

Now, before I go into it, let's establish that the notion of trying to "look the part" is something that, to me, is extremely not punk. Just as I was the class clown who did nothing but goof off and then turn around and get straight A's, I was my family and friends' resident punk who then turned around and played Chopin on the piano. What I truly saw as beautiful in punk and, later to a lesser extent heavy metal, was a universal rejection of expectations and any notion of how things are "supposed to be." It's what allowed this bipolar contradiction that I was growing up as to truly develop. As you might have guessed by the title of this post, my premise here is that punk music is a widespread manifestation of existentialism in modern culture. That might not be a terribly original take, but I think that my perspective can lend itself to some extensions of this thought.

To briefly summarize the connection, at the core of existentialism is a seemingly simple concept that says things don't have to be the way they are. The founder of existentialism, Jean-Paul Sartre called living with the idea that things had a necessary order living in "bad faith." This idea may seem simple, but understand that ultimately it suggests that all of our routines and labels such as dinner and work are nothing more than a mirage of order; and it's wrong to accept them as any more valid than their alternatives. That is to say that if I believed it best to eat chicken off the floor upon waking and eggs off of my pillow before sleeping, it is just as valid as the belief that eggs should be eaten for breakfast, chicken for dinner and all of the food eaten off a plate. Assuming that breakfast, lunch and dinner are the appropriate meals simply because that is what you have been told is living in bad faith.

The roots of punk music arose from many factors including unrest, anger, rejection, drugs, adrenaline and the like. But why would punk then find such a natural place in the life of an eight-year old class clown in the suburbs of a midwestern town who is not angry, nor rejected, nor unhappy? The answer, in my eyes, is that punk embraces existentialism like no other genre, and while at the time I didn't know what that was or how to define it, it's a philosophy that I've known since my earliest memories. At the heart of it, punk isn't entirely about rejecting the way things are, so much as it is about rejecting the idea that things HAVE to be the way they are. An individual doesn't wear a mohawk because he hates a normal haircut, he wears a mohawk because his peers believe that he MUST have a normal haircut. Both fans of punk and existentialists fight against the idea that any one haircut or way of thinking is more valid or worthy than the next. It's also fair to acknowledge that there is a token of spite to it. A "look, I've done the opposite of what you claimed to be necessary and here we are still standing" attitude in the face of being told what to do.

As a happy, go-lucky class clown, this is what drove me. Making people laugh was about doing the unexpected and seeing things in a new perspective. I wasn't "supposed" to fall out of my chair, but I knew there was nothing actually stopping me from doing it, and it made people laugh. Nothing irked me more than the notion that because I didn't sit with perfect posture or have nice handwriting or keep quiet and obey instructions that I must not be smart or successful. I made a point to get perfect marks while acting like someone who an observer would assume to be an idiot. The assumption that to be the top of your class, you have to act a certain way and behave a certain way, while I didn't really know at the time, is what I was fighting against. 

And that's what punk, to me at least, is. There's an incredible camaraderie that comes by merely being at a punk or heavy metal show. I can show up wearing a suit, a moto jacket, a dress, sweats or any other clothing that exists because everyone at the show believes that no look or clothing is any more right than the next. By simply being there, everyone has a collective understanding that music doesn't have to be a specific sound or structure, decorum doesn't have to have a specific standard, and people don't have to look or behave a specific way. It's why I can continue having no particular interest in getting a nose ring myself but find everyone else's to be indescribably badass. In some cultures, piercings are beautiful, yet in the equally valid western culture, they're considered edgy. Punks and existentialists both have this contradiction in the top of their minds.

Which leads me full circle to the idea of self-importance and the seemingly bipolar existence I maintain. In general, the activities that I find myself enjoying the most are at one extreme end of the spectrum or the other. When it comes to bars, I prefer to drink at either a ritzy, dim lounge where suits and ties mingle; or a gritty, cheap, local watering hole where the only thing standing out more than voices loudly telling stories are the tacky neon signs. 

What I believe to be an extension of this preference is the idea of self-importance. As a human being and as a creative professional, affirmation and being made to feel valuable is among the best feelings there are. To be waited on, enjoying the finer things in life while believing that you deserve them and have earned them is invigorating and exhilarating. It boosts a feeling of self-importance that is essential to success. In short, it's the feeling of "I'm the shit" that gets me.

In contrast, dive bars, punk shows and the like awaken an equally powerful yet completely opposite emotion - that is, "I'm not shit." It's difficult to explain, but it feels just as good. It's a reminder that no matter what you're wearing, what you do for a living, what your past is or what your future is, value is relative and in the grandest scheme of things we are all equals in this universe with the same ending. It's frustrating to me to hear someone from a high-class bar make assumptions or talk down about those in low-class bars, as much as it's frustrating to here those in low-class bars make assumptions and talk down about those in high-class bars. Partially because all of us have worth, and partially because in either circumstance, they're speaking ill of a major part of me.

Simultaneously living with the belief that I'm important yet entirely unimportant is part of what makes me who I am. It's what makes me, by my definition, punk. It's what makes me, by my definition, successful and hard-working. It's what helps me to constantly see everything around me from new perspectives and maintain genuine and valuable relationships with people from all walks of life. As a creative professional, it's what keeps me balanced and in tune with what those around me are thinking and feeling. And once you get that, you suddenly get punk music.

Hi-Point Drive-In is King.

If you live in St. Louis and haven’t heard of Hi-Pointe Drive-In, you’re doing it wrong. If you live in St. Louis and have heard of Hi-Pointe Drive-In but haven’t been to Hi-Pointe Drive-In, go stuff yourself… with Hi-Pointe Drive-In. Right now.

It’s rare for restaurants that burst onto the scene to live up to the hype. Many of them prove to be no more than a fad, or a novelty that won’t make it into your regular rotation of eateries. But Hi-Pointe Drive-In absolutely blew me away and has kept me coming back for more over and over and over again.

I thought about expanding on all sorts of things before getting to the food, but instead I’ll just try to just sum up my non-food observations quickly so we can get to the good stuff faster.

The building does a wonderful job of standing out without being tacky. Don’t get me wrong, the sign with a big arrow made of light bulbs looks out of place on any other block, but next to the Hi-Pointe Theater, it feels delightfully old-school. You won’t miss the place when you drive by, but you also won’t feel like it’s just some cheap gimmick. The inside is minimalist, using large shapes and photos to invoke just a little bit of attitude. There could stand to be more seating, especially if weather has the outside seating area closed. Ordering is simple – tell the employee at the front of the line what you’d like, they write it down on a tray, you go to the cashier and tell them what you ordered. I am curious, though, what’s to stop someone from just telling the cashier that they ordered something cheaper than what the kitchen is actually making. There isn’t any cross-confirming that I can see. Though please, this blog encourages you to be a good person and not do that.

There’s something unexpectedly refreshing about a local restaurant doing nothing more than making food that tastes damn good. No fast food substitutes to cut costs, no forced “twist” or overbearing “theme” from a local restaurant, no new-age attitude or championing of specific ingredients. Just damn good-tasting food from people who love making food that tastes damn good. The shakes are made right in front of you with a good old-fashioned shake machine, and the Strange Donuts daily shake special reminds you of the first time you discovered how good it tastes to just shove all the Skittles in your mouth at once instead of one flavor at a time.

Everything at Hi-Pointe except the salads, which you shouldn’t be ordering anyways, is made without concern for calories. In the absolute best way possible. The mere existence of a sauce made specifically for the fries should tip you off to how seriously these guys focus on eyes-roll-into-your-head flavor, but you might still be surprised by how liberally and recklessly your burger/sandwich is sauced. I’ve often thought of myself as the One True Sauce Boss™ but Hi-Pointe has revealed unto me a Sauce Kingdom™. In the same way a fine wine and steak dinner can be selected to complement each other, sauces at Hi-Pointe dance and twirl together in harmony. Sometimes they excitingly tango, sometimes they romantically waltz, sometimes they do the twist together and sometimes they just treat your tongue like a mosh pit. In many cases, the food you ordered barely serves as anything more than a canvas on which the multiple sauces can paint. It’s truly beautiful.

I highly recommend the Taco Burger and Mitrailette sandwich, both of which can make hunger and hangovers disappear in an instant. If it’s your first visit, get the Taco Burger and dive headfirst into the Hi-Pointe experience. Practically every burger you’ve ever gotten has been “seasoned,” but you’ve likely never noticed much of a difference from one to the next. The Taco Burger will change that. Of course, it has more than one sauce decadently dripping off – and I actually like to add a bit of the fry sauce to the mix as well. But the patty itself has such rich and strong seasoning that the flavor still manages to cut through and join the party in your mouth.  The chili-cheese and Cool Ranch Dorito seasonings mesh so well together that for a moment, you are convinced there are actually chili, cheese and Doritos on the burger.

Local beer on tap, melt-in-your-seat milkshakes made with local donuts and sometimes even booze, magnificent sauces, powerful burgers and tasty sides make Hi-Pointe Drive-In great. But what sets it over the top, to now becoming The Place that I tell out-of-town friends they must have while in St. Louis, is the specials.

The daily specials at Hi-Pointe Drive-In exude what the place is all about. While many of them are burgers, there is no theme, flavor or food type that they are trying to push or champion. It’s simply having fun with food and flavors. Burgers with pizzas for buns, tacos with a grilled cheese shell, chicken and waffles, sushi donuts… I could go on but I’d recommend just peaking through their Instagram page. Bask in the madness. Rejoice in the brilliance. If you’ve ever longingly watched Epic Meal Time videos and wanted to try an over-the-top Flavor Frankenstein made by pros, Hi-Pointe is the place for you.

The daily specials keep you guessing and keep you coming back. And no matter how wacky they sound, they're probably pretty damn good. Among others, I've had a crab cake sandwich, a burger with peanut butter and jelly on it, a sandwich with too many ingredients to count and a burger with Imo's pizzas for buns during my many visits to Hi-Pointe. And while it is always difficult to order anything besides my beloved Taco Burger, I've never been unhappy with the choice. Hi-Pointe is on a crusade to Make Eating Fun Again. 

If you’re looking to make the most of a cheat day, get some greasy hangover cure food, eat something wild or celebrate Treat Yoself Day, make your way into Hi-Point Drive-In. I promise it will not disappoint. And when you do, be sure to invite me along, so I can have an excuse to go to Hi-Pointe yet again.

Let's Remember Some Really, Really, Ridiculously Good Albums

I have no specific motivation or reason for this post. I just feel like listing some of my all-time favorite albums in no particular order. Why would you read it? I don't know you tell me you're the one that's here. But also, if you're wondering if we'll get along and you also like one or more of these albums, the answer is yes: we will get along very well. Sometimes, it's just nice to look back and remember some of the great albums that make you want to keep playing music forever.

Essentially, these will forever be in the collection of albums that I will force my future children to listen to growing up. Want to get ice cream after the game? Okay, listen to this Joy Formidable CD and I'll take you. Oh, you need five bucks for your field trip? Only if you jam this Killers CD for at least 20 minutes. Stop embarrassing you by picking you up from school naked? Listen to thie Barenaked Ladies CD three times in a row and you've got a deal. You know, normal parenting stuff.

These are albums that are good front to back. Not just albums with a lot of good songs on them. I'm talking the primo de primo, cover to cover goodness. In no order, and missing many, here's a list off the top of my head of some of my favorite albums ever:

 

Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

Barenaked Ladies - Maroon

Protest The Hero - Fortress

Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

Green Day - Dookie

Weezer - Blue Album

Toadies - Rubberneck

Third Eye Blind - Third Eye Blind

Sufjan Stevens - Come On Feel The Illinoise!

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Radiohead - The Bends

Radiohead - In Rainbows

Radiohead - OK Computer

The Killers - Hot Fuss

As I Lay Dying - An Ocean Between Us

Chance The Rapper - Coloring Book

The Devil Wears Prada - Zombie EP

August Burns Red - Constellations

The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin

Smash Mouth - Fush Yu Mang

Smash Mouth - Astrolounge

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Say Anything - ...Is A Real Boy

Wolfmother - Wolfmother

Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly

The National - Trouble Will Find Me

Green Day - Nimrod

Maylene & The Sons Of Disaster - II

All That Remains - The Fall Of Ideals

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium

Queens of the Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf

Queens of the Stone Age - Era Vulgeris

Alkaline Trio - Good Mourning

Matchbox 20 - Yourself Or Someone Like You

Nirvana - Nevermind

The Human Abstract - Nocturne

My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges

Foo Fighters - The Colour And The Shape

Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters

Foo Fighters - Wasting Light

Ben Folds - Rockin' The Suburbs

Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman

Ben Folds Five - Whatever And Ever Amen

The Misfits - Static Age

The Offspring - Smash

Between The Buried And Me - Colours

Eels - Electro-Shock Blues

Jet - Get Born

Every Time I Die - Ex Lives

Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy Up The Girl

The Joy Formidable - A Balloon Called Moaning

Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Kanye West - Yeezus

NOFX - The Greatest Songs Ever Written By Us

Lamb Of God - Wrath

Guster - Easy Wonderful

Kings of Convenience - Riot On An Empty Street

 

If you disagree with any of these, I'm sorry to inform you that your opinion is incorrect.

Blog Post For Geile/Leon: The Human Element - Is My Job In Danger?

https://geileon.com/blog/the-human-element-is-my-job-in-danger/

 

This post is a reflection on the article, Google is funding the creation of software that writes local news stories via TechCrunch

When I made the decision long ago to attend the University of Missouri School of Journalism, it was with the dream of becoming the next legendarily enthusiastic SportsCenter anchor. Growing up, I spent countless hours watching ESPN’s flagship show and reading article after article about my local sports teams. I wrote opinion columns and sports articles for my high school newspaper. I “announced” our games of touch football on the weekends, practicing for the day that I would step onto campus and take the sports broadcasting industry by storm. In other words, journalism has always been close to my heart.

Of course, college went as college is supposed to – my ideals were challenged, my perspectives were changed and most importantly, as my talents and passions became more clear, my goals and future were tossed completely up into the air. I realized how much I needed to be creative in my day-to-day life; and how little interest I had in covering high school football for the first twenty years after graduating.

Above all, what I realized is that while I do and always will love journalism, what I truly love – and why I felt pulled towards journalism in the first place – is telling and creating stories. And that’s why I became a copywriter. I get to be creative for a living. I get to put myself in others’ shoes and connect with their stories. I get to create brand stories. But if newspaper journalists – who write stories – are now threatened with job loss to automation, how soon will copywriters like myself – who write stories – face the same threat?

Don’t go firing up those resumes and looking for new jobs just yet. In the optimistic eyes of this copywriter, the answer is probably never. And the reason is that great stories like the ones copywriters and many journalists tell are great precisely because they were written by a human. Great stories are made great by the way they make us empathize with each other and feel connected to the people around us.

Sure, artificial intelligence can tell stories about numbers and facts. It can write about how a baseball team had four consecutive hits and won the game in a dramatic 9th inning. But it can’t write about how your muscles were sore the next day from being so tense during the inning. Or how it felt to hug the total stranger next to you during the celebration. Or how watching a team overcome so much adversity inspired and reinvigorated you to pursue your dreams in the face of whatever obstacles were in your way. That’s the stuff that makes a story great. That’s the stuff that’s human.

To a computer, the improbable win is just an improbable win, and the clothing brand is just a clothing brand. But to a human, the improbable win is a triumphant reminder to never give up, and the clothing brand is an outlet through which we express our unique personality and perspective.

As long as brands want advertising that means something, my job is safe. Because advertising that means something takes the facts and turns them into a great story which resonates with those who hear it. What makes great advertising is something that artificial intelligence will simply never have – the human element.

So no, my job telling stories is not in danger. And neither are the jobs of journalists who are paid to do more than report the facts by connecting the facts to our human experience. Copywriters are humans connecting humans with ideas and products that humans invented. And that’s a job that computers could never do.

Now account folks, on the other hand…

Just kidding.

Ghostwriting for www.powerpost.digital : 10 Brands Using Boomerang Right

Link: https://www.powerpost.digital/10-brands-using-boomerang-right/

 

When brands look to utilize social media effectively, one of the most important guidelines is to keep their posts “short and sweet.” Long videos and copy-heavy images are much more likely to get glossed over and perceived as intrusive, inauthentic and “salesy.” But clever, concise, easily consumable content that matches your brand personality can improve consumer perception and still feel genuine.

Enter Boomerang – the Instagram app that embodies “short and sweet.”

Boomerang acts, as you might guessed, like a video boomerang. Its a very short, looped video played in forward motion then rewound to the beginning. It’s an ideal medium for video content with movement, specifically movements that appear to defy physics when played in reverse – remember how cool the video for Coldplay’s “The Scientist” was the first time you saw it?

Creating visually interesting content with Boomerang is fairly easy, as you’ll see in some of the below examples. After all, it’s tough to be boring when you only have one second to work with.

Your post is short by default, here’s some inspiration for making it sweet.

Vans

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJioSeKgr6R/

Hair flips in reverse, waves going backwards and a whole lot of Vans’ California vibes. Vans does a great job of keeping their content personable, fun and relevant.

 

The Verge

https://www.instagram.com/p/9JS9zypGri/

This is an awesome example of using the medium to make the message. Rather than just state the message “the screen detaches in one second,” The Verge makes a Boomerang of the process, which by definition is only one second.

 

Taco Bell

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD9CNpqwhN4/

If you like nachos, try not to salivate. The call-to-action to tag a “cheesy” friend is a great touch as well. Boomerang is great for food and drink shots, like this next example.

 

Ben And Jerry’s

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLJ0-TEg4br/

At first you might think that it’d be cool if the sprinkles were bigger so you could see them going backwards better, but wouldn’t watching sprinkles leave ice cream make for a kind of sad sight?

 

Timberland

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQWWK13FVFg/

The way that videos loop on Boomerang makes dancers look like they’re showing up Michael Jackson. And of course, they’re doing so in their brand new Timberlands.  Speaking of dancing…

 

Purina

https://www.instagram.com/p/9J8nhMweLB/

The only thing better than dancing videos are dog dancing videos.

 

Gold’s Gym

https://www.instagram.com/p/9L5d5dhyBt/?hl=en

On brand and simple - Gold’s Gym flexing its social media muscles. Wouldn’t working out be nice if you could just do one lift and then Boomerang it 20 more times?

 

Bella Hadid

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCvCtgfkNrA/

Maybe not a “brand” in the traditional sense, but consider how precisely those in the fashion industry need to direct and maintain their online presence as they promote various different brands. With Boomerang, a simple head nod becomes a “Night At The Roxbury” impersonation.

 

Ikea

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPveNXVABWP/

 It’s easy to make good Boomerangs when you have lots of movement in the clip. A bike wheel and pedal will certainly do the trick! This is a good example of using Boomerang to make a post interesting, while still utilizing the post to promote something – in this case, a new product.

 

Coca-Cola

https://www.instagram.com/p/9L3KgpryfT/

Wrapping it up is a simple post from a Coca-Cola account. If you’re feeling stuck about what to Boomerang, try something simple and you’ll be surprised how interesting Boomerang can make the uninteresting. Simply filling a cup with Coke suddenly feels worth watching for a few seconds.

Boomerang is a great way to make posts stand out with eye-catching videos that won’t bore your audience. As with all branded social media posts, clips and captions that feel like a natural extension of the brand work best. Get creative and get posting!

Kong: Skull Island Kicked Ass

Kong: Skull Island kicked ass.

Kong was great for a number of reasons. It was the kind of movie that reminds you what movies, at their most basic core, are: an entertaining escape. It was fun and action-packed; and I think it'd be very hard to sit down in a good theater, watch this movie and not forget about your troubles for two hours. It's relieving, in a way, to look up and realize that for two hours during your chaotic life, you were nothing but entertained as hell.

I also want to applaud it for both celebrating and mocking cliche Hollywood storylines and sequences. Some of the dialogue is hacky and the soundtrack is extremely expected, but it's done in a way that feels like a comic book rather than a repeat.

At this point, I have to insert the obligatory MINOR SPOILERS ALERT... do not read on if you haven't seen the movie or don't want some of the unexpected moments ruined...

 

 

Now, those of you still with me who have seen it or just like to ruin your own viewing experience... what really made this movie great were the moments when it set up a great Hollywood moment and then shit all over it. The scene where Shea Whigham's character, Cole, turns around to face "the big one" skullcrawler and sacrifice himself for the sake of his comrades - building up to a heart-warming, slow-motion moment - gets absolutely stomped on when his plan doesn't work and instead he just needlessly sacrifices himself for nothing. I honestly just wanted to scream out "LOL" and cheer. It catches you so off guard that it makes the sequence of events incredibly refreshing. And the best part is how little fanfare is made about it! He gets swatted, blows up, and everyone has to keep moving. Peace! Funny, how a movie about a mystical island where skyscraper-sized gorillas fight massive lizard things is the movie that delivers a giant "this is how the real world works" kick in the face. And the same for all of the other many, many deaths! John Goodman - eaten without ever getting to be vindicated and in an extremely undramatic fashion. No fanfare, no out-of-sequence moment where characters cry or react in slow motion. Just another guy getting eaten like the movie's extras before him. When Brie Larson stops to deliver the passionate, tear-jerking speech that will invoke empathy out of even the most stubborn Samuel L. Jackson, she gets cut off after just a few words with "Bitch, please." YES. I LOVE IT. Not just because it was funny, but because it felt so real. The general, with all the power, doesn't care about you, your emotions or your speech. It's a wonderful reflection of what you know to be true about real life, and it comes from the movie where pterodactyl-like birds rip a guy into pieces. Hell yeah.

The movie really never had any lulls, and save for some implications of affection, spared us the unnecessary addition of a drawn out love story. The special effects were awesome and John C. Reilly was perfect.

RATING: 8/10

Fast Food Connoisseur: Taco Bell's Naked Chicken Chalupa

When January first rolled around, I began, like millions of others, a mission to lose weight for the new year. 

Unfortunately, just a few days in, I was notified of an upcoming addition to my beloved Taco Bell menu - the Naked Chicken Chalupa. And with that, the "fast food fast" came to a screeching halt.

A shell made of fried chicken immediately makes us reminisce on the daring, yet delicious, heart-stopping colossus that was the KFC Double Down. A sandwich that was worth its weight in gold for free press and marketing. To this day, upon hearing that I've had nearly every fast food item in my locale, often the first question asked was whether or not I'd had the Double Down. I did, and it was everything I'd hoped it would be. The KFC Double Down truly was a pioneer of the kind of "yeah it's unhealthy, but it tastes good" over-the-top and in-your-face menu items that fast food has been using to boost short-term sales ever since.

One of the best parts of my Naked Chicken Chalupa experience was the ordering. Of course, I went on the first day it was served nation-wide, and the cashiers were obviously instructed to push it and offer it to every customer. When I answered "actually, I would!" to the "would you like to try our new naked chicken chalupa today?" question, the cashier got very excited and exclaimed "I did it! I got one!" Damn right you got one. You made the sale, girlfriend! A salesman pitching a product that perfectly fits what I'm looking for - that's just great business right there.

The Food

I sprung for the $5 box that included the naked chicken chalupa, two tacos and a drink. Gotta get that Doritos locos taco at a discount when you can. But at an individual price of $3.19, the Naked Chicken Chalupa is a little underwhelming on the size. I know that value isn't everything, but it's worth noting that one of these ain't gonna fill you up.

A HUGE pro of the Naked Chicken Chalupa, and what is pretty much the entire point, is that the shell itself is actually the meat. Most people when eating a normal Chalupa, around the mid-point, are not able to fit the entire height of the Chalupa into one bite. This causes an unfortunate compromise where eaters alternate between taking a bite off the top, with no meat, and a bite off the bottom, with tons of meat but little veggies. But with the Naked Chicken Chalupa, a bite from any point will be full of meat and veggies. It's a great fix for the pesky "Chalupa Chew" problem.

Flavor-wise, the chicken is actually a little spicier than you'd think. It's not "spicy chicken" by any means, but it does more than provide a full-bodied flavor canvas on which the remaining ingredients can paint. It has a little zest to it, and personally, I would have preferred it without whatever was giving it that little kick. But, for some, that could be just the thing that sets it over the top.

I also would have enjoyed it more if the avocado ranch sauce had more room to pop. Taco Bell's Avocado Ranch Sauce is a very underused condiment on regular menu items at Taco Bell, only making a few select appearances on such items like the shredded chicken burrito. This could have been a great moment for that sauce to shine and be the hero of each bite, but instead it just took a back seat and casually joined in. It became the friend in your group you forget is there half the night.

All that said, the Naked Chicken Chalupa for the most part delivered classic Taco Bell flavors in a new way that made the bite proportions much more favorable than a traditional chalupa. You'll still enjoy the expected tango between the cold veggies and the hot meat and the place in your soul that warms up when you eat Taco Bell will warm up all the same. I would still rather spring for a normal beef chalupa, but I wouldn't judge you for a second if the Naked Chicken Chalupa became one of your new go-to's. I also ding it for value, but as the World's Biggest Steak Quesadilla Fan, I know that sometimes a menu item that isn't much bang for your buck can still be too tasty to pass up.

Rating: 6/10

Jagermeister's new angle; branding; some of my favorite campaigns

This post is based on this article: Frat-boy Fave Jägermeister Is Taking a Shot at the Cocktail Crowd 

Jägermeister is looking to move into the cocktail arena, in an effort to attract and retain young American drinkers.

Frankly, while in some regards I suppose that I understand it, I do not like this. At all. The phrase "drinks like the Jägermeister Old Fashioned" quite literally made me cringe. 

But it's an interesting example of the dance between business and advertising. My gut tells me that Jäger probably had an inflatedly high market share, kind of like an overpriced stock that is destined to eventually drop in price, and as it regresses to a more realistic share of the chilled liquors/shots segment, Jäger is trying to counteract these lost sales with sales in a new market. It makes sense from a business perspective to attempt this, but from a branding and advertising perspective, this feels like a big overstep.

Advertising and branding is a delicate balance. On one side, brands tell consumers what the product is and on the other, consumers tell the brand what the product is. Often times, the best campaigns make full use of the latter, embracing an identity that consumers dictate. Without a doubt, the kind of advertising that embraces an identity that consumers give to it has the most staying power. Instead, this move from Jägermesiter feels like Steak 'n' Shake trying to un-ironically tap into the fine dining market by simply saying "chicken strips are luxury food now."

It's not Jägermesiter's fault that for myself, and many of my friends, our first association with the drink is this popular video from our high school days. That video has been around since 2007, and 10 years later my friends and I still say "Jägabombs" the same way he does in that video. But brands can't always dictate exactly how people will hear of them or what they will associate with them.

Now, I'm certainly not saying that Jägermesiter should market itself as the official drink of Jersey Shore Jerks, but the point is that with the original video (which was deleted and since re-uploaded) garnering more than 30 million views, and the fact that we've all witnessed frat boys' love of Jäger for years upon years, it's a massive amount of impressions and organic branding to try to reverse.

To better illustrate what I'm getting at, take one of my all-time favorite campaigns that I believe perfectly embraced an identity that consumers already gave to it: Taco Bell's Fourthmeal. Much like the "Jagabombs" example, my friends and I still often say "Fourthmeal" eleven years later when getting late-night Taco Bell. This campaign brilliantly and maybe not-so-subtly portrayed Taco Bell as what it already was: your favorite drunk food. Clearly, there's millions of reasons that a campaign like this worked when it did and probably couldn't have worked in another era. But the takeaway is that as it currently stood in 2006, consumers were regarding Taco Bell as perfect late-night drunk food and instead of trying to appeal more to the lunch crowd, they soaked in that identity and put a name on it. Today, even as myself and many of my peers try to be more health-conscious during the day, the association of Taco Bell with late-night food cravings remains the same. Fourthmeal always felt like something I was doing anyways but never had a name for, and that's how it resonated so strongly.

Another great example of this is Budweiser's "Macro Beer" Campaign. I loved this commercial so much when it first aired during the 2015 Super Bowl. The line "The people who drink our beer are people who like to drink beer" is brilliant. It says so much, so simply. And much like the "Fourthmeal" campaign, it's a great example of a brand embracing what they already are rather than trying to tap into every new market. I love all beers myself, and yes I can be found "dissecting" local craft beers and snobbishly assessing them with friends as that becomes a more popular activity for my generation. When I'm in that mood, no matter what Budweiser told me or made, they'd probably never get my attention. But I'll be damned if there aren't also many times that I simply want to have a good time, throw back a bunch of non-filling beers with friends and say to hell with all of the arbiters of tastes. Call it the difference between having a drink and just having a damn beer, but it's a feeling I understand all to well. This campaign did a magnificent job of owning that mood, instead of trying to change who it was to become a part of the growing craft beer market.

It is possible for Jägermesiter to completely change its brand, but the change would need to feel organic and natural, rather than just shouted out. Were I at a bar ordering an old-fashioned and the bartender said something like "would you like whiskey, brandy, we got Bulleit, Jäger" then I would be inclined to think I may have the wrong idea about Jäger, as it came from a bartender. But to simply be told, "Jäger is a cocktail liquor now," by Jägermeister itself will make me roll my eyes. The idea of co-existing as a frat boy favorite and a premium cocktail liquor feels extremely misguided. But you can never underestimate the power of good advertising, and perhaps I'll be completely wrong about this venture.